Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Never is a Promise/You Can't Afford to Lie

Happy New Year, y'all.

It would appear that I am a negligent blogger, and I promise you this: I am not.  Want to know what happened? My MacBook bit the dust. I mean, bit. the. dust.  Full on, fan died and the damn thing would turn on for 5 minutes before overheating and snapping off.  So, for a time, I borrowed my boyfriend's laptop but that wasn't in my clutches for very long periods of time.

Luckily, he gifted me with a new, Google Chromebook for Christmas!!! Huzzah! Blogging again!

So, here I am on New Years Day, stuck on my sofa with a chest cold that has just sprung up from over the weekend. I have been in a series of rotating colds and crud since August. Each time, it goes away and I'm good for about 3-6 weeks until the next bout of it. It's borderline obnoxious, I tell you.

It doesn't help that I've been suckered into watching a load of apocalyptic television series lately. Every time I cough, I go "holy shit! I have the end-times virus!!" and Rob rolls his eyes at me. So, I've watched most of "the Walking Dead" (except I can't seem to find season 3 available anywhere on my subscriptions) and just started the BBC's short lived "Survivors." I take an active interest in human nature/psyche and I love shows the delve into it. Although, "Survivors" should just be called something like: "Car Porn After the Apocalyptic Flu Virus" because seriously: the cars in this show and legit-beautiful vehicles. The rich dude (I haven't gripped their names yet) is driving the sexiest Audi I have ever seen in my life. Mind you, I'm only an episode in, so I'm sure that there will be definitive deterioration of everything. It's the apocalypse, right?  After re-reading that sentiment, I'm fairly certain that this is my lamest New Year's "celebration" to date. Did you all know that this is the first year since 1987 that the numbers in a year are all unique? Since I was born in 1987, I hope that this means something- perhaps I will be lucky this year.

It's turning out to be a good year already for some- my dear friends Kevin and Caitlin got engaged today!! She just called me in the middle of my blogging to give me the news!

Then I remembered: she's the only other person in my life that has been stride-by-stride in relationship status/frustrations. The person that I could talk to about not being engaged in a world full of 20 somethings that are all. fucking. engaged. or. married.  The person who got it, because she was in the same boat as me: frustrated at the lack of motion in life.  As happy as I am for her, I feel an ounce of sadness. of resentment. I know that I shouldn't feel this way. I feel guilty for even feeling it- Kevin and I have been friends since we were 10, and when he started dating his Caitlin, she and I became close friends instantly-  The two of them are some of my favorite people. I am so excited for them. I am, I am, I am.  I am probably the worst friend, aren't I? to feel some semblance of resentment every time a friend gets engaged or married. It's not that simple for me. Riddled with commitment issues: that's my legacy.

Indeed, indeed he is....

Yes, I'm live blogging my anxiety attack. Please don't judge me.

So, I plan on another year of Pinterest, Pittsburgh, and Good Eats. If I've learned anything in my 25 years of living, it's that whenever you make a plan, the good Lord laughs. I hope to figure out the secret recipe to make a Swenson's Galley Boy. Maybe it'll be the year where I get to become a Journalist. Maybe it'll be the year where I figure out what the hell I'm doing with my life. All I know is, I feel like I'm having this really big, out-of-body experience where I can't quite grasp what the fuck is going on around me.

What are you all doing for New Years? Any resolutions? Any plans? Tell me what you think in the comments. I'm all ears.


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