Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Verizon saw me buck-ass-nekkid. Almost.

I've grown convinced that my apartment is becoming a magnet for all things weird, awkward, and generally uncomfortable.

Last Thursday, we received a notice from our management company that they would be installing FiOS into our building. Those commercials you see on television about how regular cable is better because it's less invasive and they don't have to dig up your front yard or drill rando-holes throughout your living space? True. So incredibly true it hurts. So, Thursday we received a letter stating that our apartment was up for hole-drillin' Tuesday (today), so please clear out all your things in the hallway closet (coats, shoes, and shit closet for me and Rob). I was relieved to see we weren't in the list of "clear out your *bedroom* closet" people....because that would be a complete C.F. for our apartment since we've pretty much jammed anything we can't find space for into that closet.

Fast forward to this morning, where I got up at 8:00 AM. Showered. 8:20 AM and I'm in the middle of dressing when all of the sudden someone is POUNDING on my *bedroom* door yelling, "VERIZZZZZZOOOON." I mean, this was Xena Warrior Princess style kind of yelling here.

I'm not kidding, you guys, they came into my apartment and walked right up to my bedroom door to knock. I yelled at them to NOT open the door since I was BUCK-ASS-NEKKID.

I said that phrase in a state of panic. I said: BUCK-ASS-NEKKID which was followed by a moment of silence and then a grown dude just started laughing.

Once I threw myself together, I came out to not one but TWO men (not accompanied by our landlords, tsk tsk) standing in my apartment. They said, "this isn't the apartment we're supposed to wire the bedroom closet in, is it?"

I said: "nope, just the hall closet. Apartment 3 is the one with the bedroom closet."

I should add that I'm in my work clothes, my hair is dripping wet from having just got out of the shower, and I had applied half of my make-up. I looked like the Joker and Two-Face had a baby and that baby was ME.

These men look scared of me. Very, incredibly scared. It could be the fact that it was 8:25 AM and that my landlord/management company gave us little warning that the guys would be entering my apartment, unaccompanied at the ass-crack of dawn (well, for me, it's the ass-crack of dawn on a Tuesday. If it were a Wednesday or Thursday, I would've already been an hour-deep at work).

Just wanted to share that with the internet.


1 comment:

  1. Sounds like you handled that pretty well... I would have flipped the hell out at them, probably.