No, really you guys, life is raping the life out of me. Is that even possible?
So, I had a great work day on Friday followed by what I had hoped to be a fantastic Monday. I walked into work refreshed and ready to take the week on. I was in a great mood when I came in, smiling and ready to kick life in the mouth.
Then the phone kept ringing and ringing and ringing.
Then the providers kept knitpicking and knitpicking and knitpicking.
Then the people who came in all had weird questions and problems and needs that I couldn't meet with my skillset.
Basically, I felt like Sisyphus. I kept trying and trying and trying to keep my smile on, to not stress and to love my job. My goal this week was to not let a single day go by without loving my job. The truth is: I don't love my job. I like it, sure, because of its benefits and some of my co-workers are the absolute best in their field (which leads to awesome conversations).
What it boils down to is: I'm not waking up and doing what I love everyday. I'm not waking up to write, to meet new, interesting people, or to do musical theatre. I'm not baking good things for my friends and I'm not learning about new cultures.
I'm not the average, settle-for-an-office-job person. I'm a wanderer, a language-lover, a person-lover, photographer, artist, writer, singer, actor, lover. I'm not a customer service person. I don't deal well with stress and anger (more so if it's not my own).
The truth is, I'm applying to jobs in New York, in Washington (DC), in Boston, in California....everywhere. Pittsburgh is my lady love but I'm not moving up anymore. The scariest bit of it is, I may have to leave everything and everyone behind me.
Has anyone reading this ever been in a similar situation? How did you work it out? Did you stay or did you go? Help?